Just in case any of our readers think Ocean County is filled with crazies calling the cops for no good reason. Check out this police blotter filled with calls for service from the Gloucester City Police Department.

CRIME REPORT

05/22 at 1144 a resident of Maple Terrace Trailer Park found a baby blue jay and wanted the police to come take care of it.

05/22 at 1447 a resident of the 400 block of Cumberland Street called police because his teenage son and daughter locked themselves in their bedrooms and refused to come out. He asked officers to help parent for him.

05/22 at 1922 a male caller reported an unknown green substance in a puddle at Freedom Pier. It was pollen.

05/22 at 1929 a resident of the 300 block of Mercer Street asked officers to come to her residence so that she could document the fact that she no longer wished to talk to her roommate. It was noted.

05/22 at 2359 a resident of the 100 block of Middlesex Street called police because his step-son was using way too much water while showering and would like us to speak with him about water conservation.

05/23 at 0936 a resident of Maple Terrace Trailer Park asked police to come check his dead plants because it was quite obvious unknown suspect(s) poisoned them.

05/23 at 1254 a resident of the 400 block of Cumberland Street (same guy as before) asked police to come “kick down” the door to his children’s bedrooms because they locked themselves in there again to get away from him. They advised him it’s his house and have at it.

05/23 at 0020 hours a male came to police headquarters to advise us he hadn’t seen the moon in quite some time and wanted to know if we knew where it went.

05/24 at 0400 a male came to police headquarters to report an unknown male suspect stole his wife’s car. He went on to state that he was sitting in front of his house smoking a cigarette when all of the sudden he noticed the hood to his wife’s car was open. He then saw the suspect get inside of the vehicle and drive away. He quickly ran into the house, got dressed (not sure what he was wearing while smoking), put his shoes on and ran after the vehicle. He was able to catch up to the suspect and vehicle at Essex and Filmore Streets. That’s when “made the suspect roll down the window, beat him up a little, and sent him on his way.” He left the car at the location because he didn’t want to mess with any evidence, which consisted of trash and a glove with semen on it. Officers drove the male back to his house and then took the owner of the car to retrieve her vehicle. No trash and no semen laced glove were found. Also no suspect either.

05/24 at 2025 a resident of Spruce Ave called police because her neighbor was playing music too loudly. When she asked him to turn down the music, he mooned her.

05/26 at 1707 a resident of Baynes Ave reported unknown suspect(s) removed the catalytic converter from his vehicle.

05/26 at 1734 a 29 year old resident of the 300 block of Cumberland Street called police because she’s “bored to death” and her mom “won’t entertain her.” The officer gave her several options to help her have fun.

05/26 at 2019 a resident of the 400 block of Market Street reported unknown suspect(s) stole 12 plants from in front of his residence.

05/26 at 2246 officers responded to the Phillips 66 gas station for two females fighting over spilled coffee. They were sent on their way.

05/27 at 0221 officers responded to the 200 block of N.Burlington Street for a fight between two females and a male. The female caller stated her sister’s boyfriend punched her car causing several dents. She stated they are arguing because he said he’s in charge of everyone that comes and goes in that apartment even though he doesn’t live there. All parties were separated for the night.

05/27 at 2026 a resident of N. Broadway reported his “Tour de France” bicycle stolen from in front of his house.

05/27 at 2130 an unknown caller reported a stray cat breaking into a vacant property on the 300 block of Somerset Street.

05/27 at 2309 officers responded to the 300 block of S. Broadway for a fight. The caller/victim stated he was sitting on his porch when an unknown male approached and head-butted him. He believes this was retaliation for an earlier altercation. The victim stated he does not know the suspect’s name, other than he goes by “Joker.”

05/28 at 0228 a male caller reported that he met a girl at Phillips 66 gas station. After some talking and flirting, he was invited back to her residence. Upon arrival, the female went inside and her husband came out. The caller quickly left the area.

05/28 at 2143 a resident of the 300 block of Bergen Street reported receiving harassing text messages from a male named “Richard.” The victim went on to say “Richard” is the head of the Sinaloa Cartel in Mexico and is trying to collect $2000 that the victim owes for “wasting an escort’s time.” He just wanted us to be aware in case anything happens.