From a mom who passes this building every morning.
(Originally Posted on WOBM.com)
Dear Christopher and Benjamin,
I love you with everything I have and everything I am. Being your mom is the best title and job I ever had.
When you were little boys it was all about Hot Wheels and Match Box cars.
Then you moved on to bumper cars at Jenkinson’s, slot racing those little electric cars at Collingwood Auction, and Go-Karts in Seaside. You’d do just about anything to get behind a steering wheel.
Then came all the video games where you get to drive high-end, fast cars on race courses (where, if you crash, you get to…well…continue.)
And then there were all the auto shows in NYC where you got to sit behind the wheel of the dreamiest, most rare and expensive race cars that you’d hardly ever be able to even see in real life.
We once even got you each a ride from a NASCAR driver around a track and, Christopher, your dad even sent you for a lesson so that you could drive your own race car at Pocono Speedway.
We’ve had trips to New Egypt Speedway, Wall Speedway, and the craziest demolition derbies at Buck MotorSport in Lancaster County
Now, Christopher, you are an adult, and have a nice start to your career driving (and — hopefully soon –selling) cars at Circle Auto Group. And you are a great driver!
Benjamin, you, too, are a great driver now that you have your permit and are on the road behind the wheel.
But as we mourn the tragic loss of two beloved young men who were driving too fast in a sport car, lost control, became air-born, and crashed into the second story of a brick building in Toms River, my heart immediately breaks for the families and friends who are in agony over the loss of these two boys.
I know you both have friends that love to race. I know it is such a temptation to want to joyride and drag race — a temptation you will face your entire life. And I know (and this is what scares me the most) that sometimes you are the passenger in a car with one of your friends that may be speeding and you may not have any way to stop them other than to open your mouth and yell STOP SPEEDING (which is probably very, very uncool to actually do) but… THIS IS YOUR ONLY LIFE ON EARTH and all I want is for you to stay SAFE.
Don’t let your ego get the best of you because you are in a car with great acceleration and another car stops at the same light as you and tempts you into a race. It’s not worth it. You don’t need to prove your value by how fast your car can go or how great your skills are. Let them go. Let them ‘win.’ You don’t need to stroke your self-confidence that way. Ultimately, you will be the winner when you get to live a long, healthy life.
Even if you consider yourself an expert behind the wheel, you can’t account for a deer that could run out in front of your car or another car whose driver loses control and cuts you off.
Heck, even the Parkway and Turnpike are full of drivers who are just ‘following the flow of traffic’ and then look down at their speedometers only to realize they are going 100 mph.
Please remember, boys, how loved, cherished and VALUABLE you are. Don’t just think about yourself when you are behind the wheel. Remember the rest of us who just want you alive and safe and healthy.
To all the other parents out there with sons AND daughters, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Let the young men who just died in this tragedy leave us with a lesson that may save many other lives. (And please, Dear God, let them not have suffered.)
Christopher and Benjamin, I love you. And I know that I am probably the last person whose opinion you want. I’m sure you find this blog totally embarrassing and are rolling your eyes at this very moment. But I would never forgive myself if I didn’t tell you how I feel. Hey — consider yourself lucky to be this loved!
Always and Forever,
Mom
Read More: An Open Letter to My Sons Following This Horrific Accident | https://wobm.com/an-open-letter-to-my-sons-following-this-horrific-accident/?fbclid=IwAR3lopASSa1Q8-O05HoHsdItEETaAb9-YkSMCfRRhLDPSOtvwUSlFlpfImQ&utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral
Credit: WOBM
Sad
Liz Jeressi your letter touched the hearts of so many. Thank you for sharing.
Amen
My prayers and love to everyone that this has Impacted their lives
I am so sorry I truly am. But unless your 22 year old KID is a PROFESSIONAL racer, you do not give them a Porsche. You just don’t.
Drew Lawrence hey Drew
Just shut the fuck up
22 and Porsche.. Bad Combo 🙁 very sad outcome
Drew Lawrence you should see the cars the kids drive coming out of Rumson high school n Christian Brothers Academy… it’s un real …
Drew Lawrence killer comeback Drew. That hurt really bad.
I had a 1971 formula 350 firebird who is to say not for young adults to drive sports cars. Yes things go wrong in a second no matter how good of a driver you are. But I would never blame the car anything else. It’s just laws of probability and it was there number. At least no one else got hurt and they died doing something they loved. My condolences to the family and friends.
Arthur Branigan a 71 firebird had about 200 hp and weighed 5000 pounds. Not even close to a porsche
It was a rental I believe.
They were both old enough to rent a car on their own
As far as I know you can’t rent a car until you’re 25.
Sharon Lynn Huber it was reported on another site that this was a College Graduation gift for the driver
This is the problem with you fucking people. The truth hurts. And none of you can handle it. Everyone wants to be soft and send prayers. I speak logic and truth and get lashes. But some dumbass tells me to shut up for speaking the truth and you all like her comment. Just know you’re part of the problem.
Drew Lawrence ok, professional drivers get killed in car wrecks. Look at Earnhardt, Petty, whoever. It doesn’t matter how good you are, it can happen. The car doesn’t even matter. From what I understand, these kids done this all the time. This just happened to be it for them. And I also hear they wanted to take their own life. And posted about this constantly.
Right? Try talking logic here and you get told to shut the fuck up ??? ass backwards page.
Drew Lawrence keep spitting the truth bro.
Epstein didnt kill himself.
The climates rising.
I’m glad it was an empty building that was vs someones home.
Or another persons car with a kid in it.
Or a toll with an innocent worker in it.
Play with fire get burned.
Drew Lawrence agree with you 100%, said the same thing the other day and people attacked me also, they go through life trying to shield themselves and their children from the truth. I also referred to them as kids and people were yelling at me that they were adults, they were not adults, maybe 20 years ago a 21 year old was an adult, but today they are kids plain and simple. also got trashed for saying parents shouldn’t give their kids porches and people were saying how do you know their parents gave it to them? Well because kids can’t afford porches in this reality, or any alternate reality someone can think of. If a 21 year old kid has a porche it’s because their parents gave them the money for it one way or another.
So they broke the law multiple times and now because they’re dead its important. Because we got out 15 minutes of fame from the story. Instead of something being discussed to prevent this from happening again we’re saying RIP online.
Instead of going to the families and saying condolences. Or asking Whatd you learn.
Vs
These kids could’ve killed someone with their recklessness. But they’re infamous now. Another thing we could fix instead if just Sad React to.
Im not sure you “let” a 22 year old do anything. Have you been 22? Because I was 22 about 15 years ago and I didn’t listen to a damn thing my parents said. I didn’t do a ton of smart stuff in my early 20s. I think thats part of the territory. Part of growing up. I don’t think anyone should be implying that these kids Should have to pay with their lives for doing the same shit we all did. Or that their parents should have some kind of blame in this. Some of you people are really sick.
Drew Lawrence Im not sure you “let” a 22 year old do anything. Have you been 22? Because I was 22 about 15 years ago and I didn’t listen to a damn thing my parents said. I didn’t do a ton of smart stuff in my early 20s. I think thats part of the territory. Part of growing up. I don’t think anyone should be implying that these kids should have to pay with their lives for doing the same shit we all did. Or that their parents should have some kind of blame in this. I hope none of your young people ever make mistakes.
Drew Lawrence I disagree
Drew Lawrence it’s called tact, bro, and you don’t seem to have any. This isn’t even the story to comment this on. It’s an open letter from a mom to her sons, and you just want 15 seconds of attention for being a little edgy. That doesn’t make anyone soft, a dumb ass, or a part of the problem. But hey, keep going ?
What’s amazing is how many assholes have zero compassion for the families…seriously everyone of us did stupid shit,and obviously made it out alive.Be thankful…and get off your high horses.. you sweet innocent people…hopefully none of your children make mistakes.Amazing how many perfect people live just in our area…must be millions in the USA by these rates.Impressive.
Steph you’re literally an idiot
Like full blown idiot
And mike you’re pretty close
And yes Jane I was 22 about 9 years ago. I did dumb shit. It’s also the year my mom died. But the moral of my fucking story is DONT GIVE YOUR 22 year old a fucking Porsche. That was my whole point. I don’t give a fuck about feelings and how much of an asshole I sound like and I definitely don’t give a fuck about how any of you feel about what I’m saying. Because what I’m saying is TRUE. and is meant to HELP PEOPLE in the future. You do not Gove a 22 year old a fast car. If they want it they buy it themselves. If they can’t you don’t give them one. I’m saying this because yes I was 22 once and the reason my dad didn’t give me a fast car is because I was too young and fucking stupid to handle it. So deal with what I’m saying or fuck off I don’t care either way
Drew Lawrence with the ram air and HO package 350hp at the wheels and 3200 pounds your correct not the same car but both sports cars and yes I drove like an ass. I just got lucky that I didn’t hurt myself or anyone else. I slipped through the laws of probability.
Arthur Branigan fair enough. We’ve all been lucky and I’m not saying anything against these poor kids like I originally stated I am so very sorry to their families I have been lucky too. I was just trying to make a point. And it’s not the same as when it was back then. That’s all I was saying but you get these fucking snowflakes that want to pretend they are gods gift to earth and then I have to get mean and shut that shit down because they are fucking stupid and ruining the world
Jason Forbey Bam you nailed it right on the head. As I wrote it’s not the car. It was an accident.
Drew Lawrence I agree they should let these kids see the outcome of what could go wrong in an instant. And yes there is going to be smart asses that say I’m better then that it would never happen to me. But we have to stop hiding the truth from people.
I never said it was the car. And no it was not an accident that is the problem. People like you saying shit like that is the problem. There was no accident here. It was a kid with a fast car driving over 100 mph around a downhill bend and he had not even close to the experience to handle it and he killed himself and an innocent person in the passenger seat. Stop trying to sugar coat shit that is the whole issue with today’s society.
Joy riding does not always equate to speeding or recklessness.
Well said
Beautiful and well explained
To the mom you said everything we forget to tell our adult children
Prayers for the familes.. its over let them rest in peace ~ don’t you think the families have enough grief ?
Karen Pomante this was an open letter from a Mom to her sons. It was not done to add grief to the victims families
Ocean County Scanner News I know, Ive seen many replies everywhere that are not right ,people should have a heart not negative words about what happened…
the mad face …it was meant for all negative people out there with something to say about the accident … my thoughts and prayers for the families and friends.
Karen Pomante unless they killed your kids, right ?
Karen Pomante and they didn’t care about hurting anyone else.
Jason Forbey no one said they didn’t care. Karen is right! So many have made derogatory comments and taunted the dead. It’s been around and nothing has changed. Best is to let the dead rest, let the family grieve and hug your own family members every time they go out on the road.
Denise Langone Howell Pettersen ty
Jason Forbey how do you know how it happen . maybe it was a malfunction in the car , maybe he turned to avoid hitting somone else.
Jason Forbey stop being ugly. They didn’t hurt anyone but themselves. So what if’s don’t matter. Parents lost their children. Have some empathy.
All the judgement is horrible. Everyone pointing a finger and judging. Take a look inside your own self, no one is perfect. Horrible tragedy. Prayers for the boys and all who loved them
Why is all this feed also posted on the OC scanner online page OFF FB…. https://ocscanner.news/live-scanner-feeds/ocsn-live-main-feed/
Karen Pomante ??
I’m wondering if the involved car had a case of sudden acceleration.
I was thinking the same maybe the car had a malfuntion
Leo Sprague I thought the same thing. Ot happened to me several years ago. It took every ounce of strength for me to stop my car with 2 feet on the brake. It was terrifying but thankfully it finally stopped. Either way, my heart is sad for the family of these 2 young men.
i don’t believe that’s possible with a 6 on the floor manual transmission, which is what that particular porsche comes with
Not as dramatic unless you happen to be in a lower gear.
have you ever seen a manual transmission do that? i didn’t think one could…..
Had it happen years ago with a jeep Comanche automatic. It was ready to crash into the woods, then it stalled. Company had 3 and they all did that.
i had an automatic refuse to come out of reverse and keep going backwards. scary that one!
Exactly ??
Amen
Biggest fear of mine as a mother of boys ? I found myself already talking to them about it at 5 and 8 and 9 after this sad and tragic incident. I can only hope it stands out in their mind when they reach the age they’re on the roads but unfortunately it will probably be long forgotten by that age, I can only promise to myself to continue to instill in them responsible driving and hope it sinks in. Prayers to the families of these boys.
This made me cry but shes so right,dont ever be afraid to be not cool. God Bless her & Family.
So heartbreaking i pray these families find peace❤️??
I had this same conversation with my son’s all the time and they are only 7 and 3. It’s never too early to have open communication!
While I feel for the parents and am a parent myself, why is no one discussing the fact that these kids were breaking the law and that they could’ve killed others by their reckless behavior? Why isn’t part of this “To my sons” letter about being aware that others could be harmed if they choose to race at a high speed? You can be compassionate and ask the tough questions. The two are not mutually exclusive. No one’s kid is perfect. This is a terrible unthinkable loss for their loved ones. But we still need to frame the discussion around behavior that endangers kids themselves and the other innocent people they could harm.
I completely agree, Kathleen.
Kathleen Matthews Schmidt Coulda woulda shoulda. Why would she try to teach the boys a lesson after they passed away in this tragedy. You are pretty arrogant to spread a traffic law narrative in the article of a letter a mother had to write for her deceased son. Obviously they broke the traffic laws we get it. If you are so concerned with public safety why don’t you become a police officer. Shame on you. Pathetic comment on this post.
Kathleen Matthews Schmidt could be a problem with car. I had a Dodge that accelerated on its own. We must not judge.
Salty Salvatore maybe you have a point but it’s not a pathetic comment! More ppl could have died and also she could have addressed that too! Cuz at the end of the day they could have killed some else an they could have survived the crash! Think bout the reckless behavior they have done an thank didn’t kill anyone else because they made a stupid decision!
Kathleen Matthews Schmidt bc we are all completely aware that driving a car into the second story of a building is against the law. Its also completely besides the point. This could have happened, that could have happened…the fact is what actually happened is two young men died. I hope you never experience it and people on the internet dissect it and completely ignore the fact that your loved one paid with his life for a stupid mistake.
Salty Salvatore I’m not arrogant. Did you even read the letter? It’s not by the mother of the kids who died. I’m not pathetic either. If you read and understood my comment you would see that. But go ahead and call me names if that’s what you feel like doing.
Jane Marie That’s not my point. I said I was sympathetic and I am. I have lost a loved one in a car accident. My brother. I do know how that feels. I don’t think anyone should be criticized for bringing up the fact that driving as they were could’ve harmed others too. That’s an important lesson to also teach kids.
You know what this is sad ….. I feel sorry the boys famlies! And I even feel sorry for the boys…They made a mistake that Lord knows they paid n are paying for there mistakes…! We are all greatful that others had not lost there life over this! Leta stop blaming it on the car, lets stop blaming on the parent or parents that allowed them to drive this car.we know these boys were wrong but again they paid for this, nothing else to do is bow are heads and pray for the families that lost there kids, pray for the families that will not having there child at the Thanksgivings dinner , or around there Christmas tree. Not just this year but for the rest of there lives.. God bless the familys for there un prepared lost .
David Stebner thank you! These people are assholes!
I dont know if ppl got my message, They wont unless this happened to them, Im sure they wont be Blaming there kids or thereselfs in that matter
David Stebner they cant seem to put themselves in anyone elses shoes.
Jersey Sure News Network
I’m so very sorry my heart is break for everyone
Such true words and heartfelt thoughts so well written.
Easy solution here is just don’t buy them a Porsche in their early 20s
They weren’t responsible enough yet for a car that fast.Remember your first or even second car?
Jon Beecroft you’re an idiot. You realize that all kinds of people die in all kinds of automobiles for all kinds of reason right. THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD walks any damn one of us who woke up n got in a damn car today.
Yeah it’s way harder to kill yourself in a car traveling safely at the speed limit but that’s just my experience. Looking at the pictures…hitting a curb and launching 10 feet into the air? Yeah that requires some serious speed and people live right there. Maybe they should be hitting 100+ miles per hour at raceway park instead of around the corner from my grandma
Jon Beecroft It wasn’t the car you people need to shut up. It was a lack of responsibility. I was a professional driver for a major manufacturer at 21. I drove at speeds most people would never go but I knew when I was on a track and when I wasn’t. Tought by my father.
Jon Beecroft this is kind of out of place, and not really the point here…but raceway park closed the drag strip 2 years ago.
Joe Beaulieu ok
Beautifully written letter, Mom❤️
God bless ❤️❤️
Touching sentiment, this story touched my heart. I feel so bad for their loved ones. I myself have children similar age. Thank God no innocents were taken. I had a scare back in 2006.
My husband had a family business in Bricktown on Brick Blvd. where an elderly lady drove through the store. She probably should have been not driving anymore due to age related circumstances.
Thank god I was off that day because
She drove right through into my office where my desk was.
We had minor injured employees that day.
So Scary, young and older people. Everyone needs to be careful!
Prayers for all who are suffering this loss.
Be it a son or a daughter we fell the same.
Emily Covella
Omg this is exactly what I thought to myself as Matthew grows up ?
Emily Covella omg no don’t even. Let’s hope boys will see this as a lesson
My heart breaks over this a parents nightmare…prayers for everyone
Must read
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this is right on the money. kudos, mom. when i had the stunt car so many young idiots tried to get me to race them it was ridiculous. far too many are lost because of that “it can’t happen to me” attitude. prayers to the families who right now are facing the unimaginable. and a call out to the police and sheriff’s department who need to stop the race meets…..
When your young you think your invincible and “won’t happen to me”, this touches close to home as my own son turns 17 on Friday and will be driving. Every parent should read this letter to their children. The pain both families are dealing with is unfathomable to me, my love and prayers are with everyone involved.
Linda
They really were young adults but still kids… proof they were immature because clearly they didn’t respect life, family and the laws of driving. Driving is a privilege, you do immature things like speed on a road that’s at most 45 mph you pay the consequences. I can imagine the top speed they hit to lose control and they go airborne like that. Selfish is what they are in my opinion- now families are living with their poor choices, DEAD!
Respect yourselves, think of the suffering of others & there’s always that chance you could kill another innocent person on the road; who was simple following the laws of driving… no one is invincible.
Its a shame cause we all have done dumb things looking back.. some of us were lucky. Dan waa a good dude with alot to offer this world. The guy at work that always made u smile. But yes i rememeber as a young adult also thinking i was invinceable.