PRESS RELEASE:
Lakewood: Members of the Lakewood Yeshiva Association have reached a tentative deal to purchase Ocean County Scanner News’ Facebook Page and Website for an undisclosed suitcase full of money. Acting Yeshiva Deputy Schlomey says, “This deal gives the under-served residents of Lakewood a new voice in Ocean County. OCSN was chosen due to the popularity and massive reach of fans and followers. This is a new way to spread the joy of Lakewood to Ocean County and the world.”
Current staff will remain throughout the transition phase, and routine scanner calls will continue for a while. Effective 15 April 2019 the page will be used to broadcast all the daily happenings in Lakewood’s Fabulous Yeshivas and other private schools.
This decision is also supported by many local police chiefs who wouldn’t go on record for a comment. Many hinted that they hate the public knowing what is going on, and wish scanners didn’t exist. Nothing is more irritating than the public being nosy and knowing what we are up to every minute of every day. Encryption is the best thing as we legally get to block Freedom of the Press around here. That concept was shared among all the local departments who voluntarily encrypt their radio transmissions to lock out everyone.
The entire staff at Ocean County Scanner News wish to thank everyone for our good run. We would have made it to SIX consecutive years of operation come July 2019. All the fans and followers will be missed, and we cannot thank you enough for the support over the years.
For those of you who know… “Your mom’s box”
?
???
Who cares
Is this a joke that went over my head?
… Not a very good one.
Jen Wicoff no sense of humor huh, that sucks for you
Not after reading some of the asshole comments, nope.
Lol. April fools…got it now.
So long as you get to wear a cool hat..
Jason Price I’d love one of those swag hats
My heart sank and then I realized APRIL FOOLS! Whew
April fools
They’ve got some competition. I’m waiting for them to publish the Waxfold Weekly.
I was in the midst of plotting my revenge when I realized the day….
Well played
Will there be any ‘nudes’…???
Only what you can see thru the hole in the sheet.
Good job on opening the floodgates and making it “okay” for people to openly mock Orthodox Jews. Please don’t lower yourselves to this.
Please be fu**ing w us! April fools! Haha
April Fools ???
????? I fell for it too!!! April Fools
Oye!
Lol. Damn it. You almost got me ?????
Leave my Mother’s Box out of this
Rofl
Did you hear that Christian Brothers bought Manachevitz wines?
Yup!
The new name is going to be:
MANASHEIGITZ!
(Those who understand, understand! Those who don’t understand, ask your Jewish friends!)
Wtf???
OMG i forgot it was April Fools Day ~~ good one !
You got me good!
April Fools thank God
That figures…one less place I can make sarcastic comments ??♂️
Funny, but be careful because you know someone will consider this a racist joke!!!
Donna Richards
All we can do is laugh, it was the bosses idea!
Fucking vermin
Click for sound
Is this an April Fools joke?????
April fool mo fo!
Will be unfollowing ocsn
That’s when I’ll no longer follow or like this page
Haha
Not funny. I will no longer be following this site.
Fake news right!
will be unfollowing oc scanner
Hope this is an April Fools joke
April Fools….
April fools
???
April fools?♀️
You guys rock! Thanks for having a sense of humor, and we would not sell our page to anyone.
Ocean County Scanner News you had me for sure. I was like mother fuckers are seriously gonna take everything over
Johnny J Hammond Jr.
We picked a prank that was actually believable.
Ocean County Scanner News savage lmao
Ocean County Scanner News y’all scared the HELL out of me???
Ocean County Scanner News Funny not funny…lol lol I was all set to stop following the page…lol lol
Lol I was gonna say, you’d be loosing a lot of followers ??♀️?. Glad it was April fools ?
April fool on me
You got me! The smoke is still coming out of my ears, lol!
You got me! I was def about to delete because I didn’t want that shit in my newsfeed ???
Made me drop my phone at work! Jeesh…
Just lost me!! I’m unfollowing!! Screw u all!!!
April Fools
Loved this!!!!
Ha
Lol
Dan Lazyfarmer Chris Auriano
April fools
April fools on me. I believed that they did buy it, ha ha ha
Why are you all so hateful
One bag tell them 10 more
I actually believe it for 20 seconds right after reading another April Fools joke. I’m an idiot.
Thank God could only imagine what they would do
What’s with the trash cans on their heads?